For several months now I have been dealing with a deep depression that felt – as they all do – like it would never get better. I have also been dealing with some physical issues as well which was just adding coal to the proverbial fire. But just this week, I was put on oxygen for my breathing problems, and what a miracle it has been! I have more energy, I feel I am thinking more clearly, and the depression has begun to lift. I am coming out of the hole of darkness. And I feel lighter within myself.
This would all be wonderful in itself, but I also feel more creative and eager. I feel some poems coming. I feel The Pet Sitter calling me to write it at last. I feel more committed than ever to the iWonder Sisters and iwondersisterhood.com. I feel videos coming and much more. Kimm and I have a mission with the website and a message for women that we feel is so important. We are doing interviews regularly now and sharing even more wisdom from people with whom we resonate. It is a very exciting and expansive time for us and both Kimm and I feel a real re-dedication to us!
Now, with this renewed energy, I am more ready than ever I was to leap forward with projects – both creative and organizational and strategic. What a huge difference a little added O2 can bring. I have to say, as an aside, that there is so much paraphernalia that comes with oxygen – tubing, tanks of O2, a huge and heavy air converter – just a shit load of stuff. In our little casita, with no real storage, my gear is all over the place.
I feel so much gratitude that my insurance covers me for all this, that people – especially Kimm – have been so supportive and curious about it all. I had to have a bronchoscopy 2 weeks ago, which was under general anesthesia, and I was a nervous wreck about it. But Kimmie was there every step of the way and I felt so cared for. The hospital staff were so sweet, as was my doctor, and I didn’t die. I came through it just fine, with only a few rough days afterwards. I am one blessed cookie!
So, in a strange way I feel reborn. I feel refreshed and renewed. I feel hopeful and happy. My little family – Kimmie, Chloe, Dobby, Maxxidoodle, GG, and Dharma – inspires me and holds me up. I only hope I do the same for them.