My evolution as a human being has astounded me. And the growth I experience every day as Andrea – the changes and expansion of my heart and mind – is mind-blowing. I will never need any mind-expanding drugs to give me insight, to show me Truth. I have all the tools within me. At 68, I am living the most thrilling phase of my life! Who could ask for more?
I have always believed that as you age you become more of what you always were. So that if you tended towards pessimism, you would become more pessimistic as you got older. This has NOT been true of me. I lived my life in fear for a very long time. I thought I was a fraud and that any kudos that I got for anything were given under false pretenses. I believed that I conned everyone into thinking I was better than I was. Nicer,more talented, even prettier. I never saw myself through the eyes of others. I never trusted that. I didn’t give others enough credit, which if you think about it, is me having a big ego trip. Thinking that I could so easily manipulate people. But now, in my elder years, I believe it when someone says I am adorable, or wise, or good. I believe it for the most part. Old habits die hard.
When I meditate now, extraordinary things happen to me. My consciousness expands, I am visited by other-worldly beings, I understand more. And what I don’t understand I am okay with. The mysteries of life are fine staying that way – mysterious. I don’t hunger to know everything. In fact, I am very okay with saying “I don’t know.”
My self-awareness grows every day. I have a far greater sense of who and what I am now than ever. My vision is clear. Yes, every now and then it gets clouded by a dark history, but mostly the past is in the past. I don’t carry it around like a heavy backpack. I don’t use it to excuse my behavior. I take responsibility for the darkness that was once my life. I cast no blame. I have let that go, and it is so liberating. I know that my parents did the best they could given what they knew and the experiences that made them who they were.
As my consciousness expands I rest more comfortably in my own skin. There is greater self-acceptance and, as a result, greater compassion for others. I become more giving, and I enjoy that. And there is more Joy and Peace within me. I accept Happiness as my right. That has been a hard learned lesson for me, but I got there!
I wish all this for everyone!