On your journey you will encounter many precipices. Some will be higher and more scary than others. Some may have bridges or ropes there to swing across the chasm below, and some may just be a ginormous leap into some thing – you know not what. These are the times that define you. Fear will be there. That is a given. But what you do with it will tell you who your are. Listen closely
Moving out of our comfort zones is what life is all about. As Sirius Black says to Harry in the film version of HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, “What is life without a little risk?” You must take chances, leaps of faith, when your gut tells you something is right for you. Even when others look at you as if you’d just grown another head, you must hear your own music, and dance your own dance.
Going where I know no one and doing something I have never done, both excites and scares the shit out of me. Recently I went to a local wellness centre and took a class called Zen Movement and Sound Healing. I had no idea what that entailed, and I worried about my physical limitations of the moment. Also, I am not good at talking to strangers and thought nobody would talk to me. But I closed my eyes and jumped, feet first into the class. First of all, the class was brilliant and I now look forward to taking the series. But second, people welcomed me and talked to me and I felt part of the group. In time I will get to know them and they me, and I may even make a couple of new friends. In many ways, that was the point of it all. To connect with others. This does not come naturally to me, and I have to work at it ALL the time. But I knew that if I risked nothing I would get nothing.
Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and leap into the abyss. You have to spread your wings, fly, float, get to the other side of the chasm, or fall, fall, fall, and land in a new and wondrous world. The truth is that there is a price to pay for everything, and sometimes that price is just letting go. There are lessons to be learned whether your leap or not. But I can guarantee that price you will pay if you don’t risk is greater than you can imagine.
My evolution as a human being has astounded me. And the growth I experience every day as Andrea – the changes and expansion of my heart and mind – is mind-blowing. I will never need any mind-expanding drugs to give me insight, to show me Truth. I have all the tools within me. At 68, I am living the most thrilling phase of my life! Who could ask for more?
I have always believed that as you age you become more of what you always were. So that if you tended towards pessimism, you would become more pessimistic as you got older. This has NOT been true of me. I lived my life in fear for a very long time. I thought I was a fraud and that any kudos that I got for anything were given under false pretenses. I believed that I conned everyone into thinking I was better than I was. Nicer,more talented, even prettier. I never saw myself through the eyes of others. I never trusted that. I didn’t give others enough credit, which if you think about it, is me having a big ego trip. Thinking that I could so easily manipulate people. But now, in my elder years, I believe it when someone says I am adorable, or wise, or good. I believe it for the most part. Old habits die hard.
When I meditate now, extraordinary things happen to me. My consciousness expands, I am visited by other-worldly beings, I understand more. And what I don’t understand I am okay with. The mysteries of life are fine staying that way – mysterious. I don’t hunger to know everything. In fact, I am very okay with saying “I don’t know.”
My self-awareness grows every day. I have a far greater sense of who and what I am now than ever. My vision is clear. Yes, every now and then it gets clouded by a dark history, but mostly the past is in the past. I don’t carry it around like a heavy backpack. I don’t use it to excuse my behavior. I take responsibility for the darkness that was once my life. I cast no blame. I have let that go, and it is so liberating. I know that my parents did the best they could given what they knew and the experiences that made them who they were.
As my consciousness expands I rest more comfortably in my own skin. There is greater self-acceptance and, as a result, greater compassion for others. I become more giving, and I enjoy that. And there is more Joy and Peace within me. I accept Happiness as my right. That has been a hard learned lesson for me, but I got there!
I wish all this for everyone!