This morning I meditated for the first time in about 2 months. I have never been away from meditation that long before. It wasn’t difficult to get back in the groove and I closed my eyes and allowed. What happened to me has blown my mind.
The Universe spoke to me. You can call it God, Divine Spirit, whatever feels right for you. And it addressed me where I am at my most vulnerable: This feeling that I am not worthy because I am “bad”. It told me that I am a good person, that I deserve all that is abundant in this life because I am worthy, as every other Soul on this earth is worthy. It said that warlords in Africa are worthy, that terrorists are worthy, that all are Its children. The logical conclusion therefore, must be that I am worthy as well.
I wept and felt terribly overwhelmed. I often think such awful things about myself, and It said that I need to let those things go. They do not define me. I am a Soul in a body, I am Divine, Pure, and I am Love. I am all that a Human within a Soul can possibly be. And that I am fulfilling my life’s purpose. I am on the path I am meant to be on.
I felt a weight lifted from me. Indeed I felt weightless. I can do anything I want to, and I deserve to. I can be loved, and I deserve that too. (Even though being loved is much harder than loving. At least that’s what I believe.)
I MUST treat myself with care and tenderness. I MUST appreciate all that I do both creatively and practically. I MUST give to myself, nurture myself, encourage myself. It’s funny. Sometime during the 1970’s I saw a psychic who told me that I need to take myself by the hand and parent myself. Back then I was not able to do that. But now, at 67, I can.
I amaze myself. At this stage of one’s life, most people are giving in to the aging process to the extent that they cease to evolve anymore. Here I am transforming every day, and doing so with excitement and joy. Greater self-awareness and self-acceptance are coming to me. I am indeed as the butterfly emerging from its chrysalis. This is so GREAT!
So, I resolve to meditate every day as I was doing before. I need to go to that place where I am really still and quiet, and let the Universe take me where it will. Undoubtedly I won’t have the kind of session I had this morning every morning. But now that I have had it once, perhaps that means I am more open, more ready to receive.