I have been meditating as usual, every day, and asking the Universe for some answers and signs as to what is best for me right now. My dreams are confusing, so if the answers are coming in symbols I need a symbologist to help me decipher the code. Nothing is making sense. I am at a loss and feeling very stuck.
Three days ago I did a guided meditation about faith – which for me implies surrender – and at least five angels appeared to me during the session. Five angels and two of my dearest friends who are dead. I have never felt as loved as I did during this meditation and wept the entire time. Jesus took my hands in his. Angel wings enfolded me. I felt safe, protected and guided. And so very loved. It was an amazing meditation experience. A real gift.
But I am still not seeing answers anywhere. I feel like I am on high alert for them, but so far…nothing that I can discern. Perhaps what I need to do is to stop looking for them and allow them to manifest. I must trust my intuition now as never before if I am to find answers to lifelong questions. What am I here to do? Where should I be living? If I feel my life’s purpose is to heal others, why am I not doing it? The answers are not hiding under a rock in my backyard. It’s not that simple, nor is it concrete.
Meanwhile, I continue my meditations, longing for that experience of being surrounded by love and protection to happen again. But it has not. Certain people are a constant, and yesterday there was one angel present, but not the same as before. One must allow a meditation to unfold and just be in it – not force it.
Perhaps the intuitive I contacted today, who is going to do a reading with me in a few days, may be able to help me figure things out. But for now, I think I must bask in the love I felt those few days ago and, let it wash through me over and over again, and remember always that I was touched by the Divine in a very special way.